Current Lesson Planning Thought Process:

Me: We’ll do the music 30-sec listening “Guess the song title” exercise. We said we would and, darn it, we should deliver!
Brain: Fool! Do you not realize the consequences?
Me: My children’s devotion for having some class time filled with music versus the soul-sucking “repeat after me” exercises?
Brain: No, you dreamer! This exercise entails picking top 40 music.
Me: So? No biggie.
Brain: Really? Then enjoy listening to the likes of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, and One Direction.
Me: Oh. Gaaaawwwwd.
Brain: Exactly.

– – – – – – –

Well, maybe I’ll go stark raving mad learn to tolerate their music.

Feel the Burn

Dear Self,

Kudos to you! The burns on your forearms are healing quite nicely. However, while they may look merely tan now, the skin is still quite tender. Remember that the next time you try to scratch your latest mosquito bite. Your skin will thank you by not searing in protest.

Sincerely in Pain,
Yo’ Self

A Conversation with My Brain

My Brain: Psst, Laurel.
Me: Yeah, Brain?
Brain: This time next week, you’ll be in… AMERICA!!
Me: OhmygoshI’msoexcitedI’mgonnaseemyfriendsandfamily–
Brain: –Whoa, whoa there. Aren’t you forgetting something?
Me (nervous): Something.. not awesome?
Brain: Yup. You know what it is?
Me: Can we play the “ignorance is bliss” game now? It’s so.. blissful!
Brain: Sorry, no. You really need to finish cleaning.
Me: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

– – – – – – –

There’s only the laundry to do, the bathroom, the w.c., the living room, the bedroom, the stairwell… you know, EVERYTHING!

Beware the light fixtures

Dear Self,

How many brain cells must you kill before you realize the light fixtures meet you at eye level!? Duck, damn you!!

Now, shake off seeing stars and go take an Advil.

Sincerely,
The Sane Self

– – – – – – –

I have quite literally smacked my head into these about once to 2-4 times per day. How I don’t have a goose egg on my cranium, is anyone’s guess.